Resilience

I know that I’m a worrier, a kan cheong spider (dialect. to describe someone who frets incessantly and panicks easily). Anything that crops up unexpectedly will set my heart racing, sweat glands in hyperactivity and my legs tapping frantically. Sometimes, i will respond in a regrettable manner because i did not take time to dissociate myself from the situation, to calm myself down and to think things through before responding.

I came across this article published in Time – The Science of Bouncing Back, which essentially touches on resilience and how it could be trained/strengthened. Psychologists noticed that some children fared better than others after having experienced the ravages caused by WW2. Not sure if it was the first research done but Emmy E. Werner, a developmental psychologist, researched on 700 Hawaiian children with alcoholic parents and some were found to be adapting exceedingly well despite their circumstances. The study soon found that factors such as having strong support from a close-knit community, a stable role model and strong belief in the ability to succeed helped the children in attaining success.

The article soon led to me to realise what i’m lacking – Resilience. In the face of adversity, i choke which clouds my judgement, resulting in a response far from ideal. It is a serious matter. Because it’s detrimental to my career if i were to jump at the slightest matter.

I also learnt that it is best to avoid fretting over the everyday stressors e.g. worrying about finances, worrying about the future or the past and etc. Worrying feeds the fear circuitry in our brains. Incessant worrying reinforces the fear circuitry which may eventually result in it becoming our default response to stress.

‘The more we use this neuronal superhighway, the more efficient it grows, and this mode of thinking becomes our default.’

The good news is that scientists have discovered that humans are capable of training our brains to build and strengthen neuronal connections that don’t reinforce the fear circuit.

As extracted from the article, below are the Expert Tips for Resilience:

1) Develop a core set of beliefs that nothing can shake

Habit is possibly the hardest thing to change. In the book, The Power of Habit, I read that for a habit to stay changed, it is paramount for people to believe that change is possible. And most often, that belief emerges from the help of a group.

2) Try to find meaning in whatever stressful or traumatic thing has happened

As the song goes, what doesn’t kill you makes your stronger. 🙂

3) Try to maintain a positive outlook

I’m generally a pessimistic person which my friends can attest to that. If anything, this is one area which i would need to expend lots of effort in.

4) Take cues from someone who is especially resilient

A role model, i have to look for one.

5) Don’t run from things that scare you: Face them

In the same article, researchers found that facing the things that scare you relaxes the fear circuitry, making that a good first step in building resilience. Confronting your fear, is the first and hardest step.

6) Be quick to reach out for support when things go haywire

We don’t walk on this earth alone. I can never thank enough for having a core group of friends, even at work. May i emphasise, friends, not mere colleagues. Many times when things didn’t go my way, or to the extent awry, I felt comforted by the fact that i have friends who support me despite the difficulties.

7) Learn new things as often as you can

Because, learning doesn’t stop.

8) Find an exercise regimen you’ll stick to

9) Don’t beat yourself up or dwell on the past

Recognise that we are only humans.

10) Recognise what makes you uniquely strong – and own it

The article, in my opinion, is a very useful article. It serves as a timely reminder for me to work on building my resilience.